Facts Don't Care About Your Feelings
Transcript of Milton Carver’s Police Interview on November 9, 2024
Unnecessary sounds, such as “um” and “ah,” have been omitted from the following statement for legibility.
START AUDIO
0:00 INV: Could you state your name for the record?
0:02 MC: Milton Carver.
0:04 INV: What was your relationship with Caroline Weiss?
0:07 MC: She’s the secretary at Knoqi, we’re on the same floor.
0:09 INV: Mr. Carver, where were you on the night Miss Weiss died?
0:16 MC: She died?
0:18 INV: Last Wednesday.
0:22 MC: I wasn’t anywhere near her! I don’t know what you’re bringing me in for.
0:27 INV: Mr. Carver, could you cooperate?
0:30 MC: I didn’t do anything, I don’t know why I should!
0:33 Officer Bailey sighed.
0:35 INV: We have ways of making you talk.
0:38 Officer Bailey exited and returned with Iris Scott.
1:12 INV: Mr. Carver, this is Iris Scott. Miss Scott, this is—
1:16 IS: I know him from Rargon.
1:18 MC: That’s not a woman. You’re a man in a dress.
1:20 IS: No, I’m nonbinary.
1:23 MC: Wh- You made that up!
1:26 IS: No, it’s regularly used.
1:30 Ms. Scott pulled out her phone and searched the word “nonbinary.”
1:35 IS: It traces back to 2000 BCE—
1:38 MC: Maybe in one book that no one read!
1:41 IS: That’s not how history works.
1:45 INV: I think we need backup.
1:47 Officer Bailey exited and returned with Allison Davis.
2:14 INV: Mr. Carver, this is Allison Davis. Miss Davis, this—
2:18 AD: I know him. What kind of shirt is that?
2:24 MC: It’s my personal beliefs. Life starts at conception, adoption saves lives.
2:30 AD: That checks out. Your shirt crosses out the B and T.
2:35 MC: Adoption instead of abortion.
2:40 AD: That doesn’t spell adoption. It spells ‘adorpion.’ That’s not a word.
2:48 MC: Neither is nonbinary, or your they ze—
2:52 AD: All languages can trace real-world concepts to their words. Nonbinary defines people who aren’t male or female. ‘Adorpion’ has no definition.
3:03 INV: I need to step in. Mr. Carver, where were you the night that Caroline Weiss died?
3:08 MC: I don’t know! But even if your nonbinary thing has been around for a long time, it hasn’t been commonly known!
3:16 IS: Genderless creatures and characters changing their sex have been around since ancient Greece. Loki is one of the most blatant examples, he consistently changed gender roles throughout Norse mythology.
3:28 INV: This isn’t going anywhere, should we bring in Anderson?
3:33 IS: Maybe.
3:35 Officer Bailey exited and returned with Kai Anderson.
4:07 INV: Mr. Carver, this is Kai Anderson. Mx. Anderson—
4:10 KA: I know him, he’s in the cubicle next to me.
4:14 MC: ‘Mx.’ You’re just making things up now, she’s a girl in shorts!
4:20 KA: I’m sorry, I don’t go by she. I could explain my neos to you, they’re pretty easy to—
4:27 MC: Neos?
4:29 KA: Neopronouns, pronouns recently created to—
4:33 MC: No! No more making things up! Please, just give me a straight answer!
4:37 KA: I can’t do that, but I could explain it to you.
4:42 INV: Mr. Carver, are you ready to cooperate?
4:44 MC: Not until I teach these things that they are defying God!
4:49 KA: How did God get into this? This is an investigation.
4:53 INV: Were you defying God the night that Caroline Weiss died?
4:58 MC: YES! Okay? I killed her! She cheated on me with that [DATA EXPUNGED] from IT!
5:05 IS: So you cheated on your wife with Caroline?
5:09 MC: Sarah also left me for that [DATA EXPUNGED] in IT!
5:15 Officer Bailey walked around the table, removed Milton Carver’s handcuffs from the table leg, and handcuffed both of Carver’s hands behind his back.
5:34 INV: Mr. Carver, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.
6:12 Officer Bailey and Milton Carver exited the room. Allison Davis laughed.
6:27 AD: ‘That [DATA EXPUNGED] from IT’ has a nice ring to it.
6:31 IS: That was you? How’s Sarah, is she doing okay?
6:37 AD: Carrie’s death hit us hard, but we’ll be alright.
6:42 IS: Well… After that trainwreck, lunch is on me.
6:49 Iris Scott, Allison Davis, and Kai Anderson exited the room.